Jack Grimes, United Fascist Union candidate from Maryland.
Running for: President of the United States.
Political Experience: None. Grimes unsuccessfully campaigned for president in 2000 and 2004.
Platform: Grimes is not a Nazi. Sure, his party sounds Nazish. But that's because you're uninformed: "I ask of you before you come into this site, leave your notions about fascism behind, because you probally (sic) have the wrong idea, fascism is much different than you think, so once again... dont (sic) bring those notions in here." Grimes doesn't support the ideals of Adolph Hitler. No. He supports those of Benito Mussolini and Saddam Hussein. So there. He's not a Nazi.
Center of Gravity: Grimes is a Satanist and often orders his follower(s) to worship the demon.
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Big Cool Friends: Author Sally Parker helped Grimes write his book, "New World Order for the New Millennium." Parker also is Grimes' girlfriend. The official United Fascist Union Web site shows pictures of them in what appears to be an Applebee's restaurant. In 1998, Grimes spoke before the Flying Saucer Society of Dover, Delaware.
Little Buddies: In 2004, Grimes cancelled a campaign event because his "Mom's car was broken."
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Evidence of Possibly Contradictory Behavior: The United Fascist Union's Web site notes Grimes placed sixth in the 2000 election and was on the ballot in 45 states. But a quick check with the Federal Elections Commission shows Grimes wasn't on the ballot anywhere.
He's Not All Bad: Grimes enjoys playing the piano and violin and also likes pressing wild flowers.
Odds of Winning: Using his math, a Grimes presidency is all but certain.
Posts
17 comments:
I like his hat.
This is the mug shot of a drunk driver heading home from a toga party.
Yes, that face is the first that comes to mind when I hear the phrase "likes pressing wild flowers"...
He looks like he has a voice like Droopy Dog.
I won't vote for anyone who hangs out at Applebee's, not even if they press wild fowers.
Wasn't this a Monty Python sketch?
sounds a little too silence of the lambys for me.
A mock turtleneck? Sheesh. Everyone knows you wear a codpiece when you're sporting a helmet like that, and no shirt at all.
He'd totally be President by now if his mom would just get rid of that '92 Buick P.O.S.
What series of strange life experiences leads people to turn out like this? Seriously, can you imagine thinking to yourself, "You know, Mussolini was on to something. We MUST try that here!" dons centurian helmet and heads out the door
By the way I'm seeking help in selecting a new 'About Me' photo. If you get a chance cast a vote, thanks.
Silly Nazi.....dictators don't "get" elected. You just take over. Sheesh, I guess he was asleep on the day they covered military coups at Lil' Tyrants Private Academy.
At least the trains will run on time.
And he's really a snappy dresser.
I tell you, if you're a fascist Staanist and you can get yourself a girlfriend who'll eat at Applebees with you AND help you write a book, well that's great news for lonely guys all over the place.
I am Heather Goldsmith, Jack Grimes secretary and girlfriend.
Sally Joanne Parker, is his Deputy. She lives with us now but, she certainly isn't involed with Mr. G.
Mabel Grimes has been dead for years, and couldn't drive the Boss anywhere. I think she died in 1990 and had quit driving, due to extreme old age, long before that.
All this bullshit about the United Fascist Union comes from a bogus site called Politics #1 and they always get everything wrong.
Hail Grimes!
VOTE FASCIST 08!
Speech for the Mayor
Council Meeting of
October 3rd 2007
An interesting article in the Cecil Whig, September 14th edition,
entitled, Gilchrest on Board with Aid for Local Mass Transit Fix.
pointed out that Cecil County is the missing link in passenger rail
service between New York City and Washington, D.C. In the same piece,
Senator Pipkin, of the #36 District, stated that we need to renovate
the old train station.
Everyone who is fortunate enough to live in Cecil County will know how
hard the honorable Mayor Fisona has worked to make sure we will once
again have passenger train service here in the town of Elkton. Anyone
who has followed local politics for any length of time at all
understands county civic leaders have wanted to restart commuter trains
to Elkton for several years now and the main stumbling block is always
a lack of capital. Another hindrance is also the ramshackle condition
of the train station on Bow Street, which would have to be completely
remodeled. Also, another imperative is to secure Federal funds to
start the undertaking.
As I understand it, the Elkton train station closed it’s doors sometime
in 1962 and has been allowed to fall into ruin ever since then. This
shouldn’t have happened in the first place, but, what has been done
cannot easily be undone. Note the phrase, easily undone. This can be
corrected if enough time and money were to be invested in a renovation
project. In the article, mentioned before, Gilchrest promised he would
do his best to secure the needed federal funds. It’s up to voters to
see to it that he keeps his word by writing him often to remind him of
what he said he would do in regards to helping to bring the train back
to Elkton. In those letters it should most likely be stressed how much
a man in his position could do to help bring this about because of his
rank and social standing. It would also be wise if the authors were to
stress in the body of the composition how bringing the train back to
Elkton would be for civic good and could raise the quality of life in
Cecil County.
It also seems most reasonable, to me, that if we expect to get federal
funding to bring passenger rail service back to Elkton again we need to
explain in as logical and rational format as is possible, within a
reasonable time frame without becoming boring or bothersome, how doing
so would garner vast revenue to fill the public coffers. At this
point, someone should point out how poverty-stricken Cecil County is
and how we must have passenger rail service back again to draw people
here to expand our tax base. In the same edition, the Whig ran another
article claiming the county just recently topped the 100,000 residents
mark. An argument favoring returning train service could be made thus:
Cecil County remains poverty-stricken and isolated despite the fact
that we now have more than 100,000 people living here. The agent
making said proposal could add: with all of these people we should have
train service restored to the city of Elkton so that they may be
gainfully employed.
A wise point designed to garner support for the proposal might be Cecil
County has often been called Maryland’s forgotten county or the
forgotten corner of Maryland; sadly, tis surely so, but, this is most
assuredly a result of our lack of proper public transportation in the
region. Give us the funds we need now to start a functional regional
commuter rail service that will move people from place to place and it
will pay for itself rapidly by expanding our tax base. Every economist
knows there are periods of growth and periods of stagnation and, one
usually follows the other as night follows day. Cecil County has
languished in a state of decay since commuter trains stopped servicing
the area, so it seems the solution would be to restore the railroad to
this area pronto to reverse the situation. It is the task of those of
you who have power to convince those who have money to give us the
funds we need to bring the railroad back to Cecil County once more.
Mr. Jack Grimes
for the UNITED FASCIST UNION
7PM night of October 3rd 2007
City of Elkton, Province of Maryland
Nation-State of America.
UNITED FASCIST UNION
P.O.B. 2209
Elkton, MD 21922-2209
Union States 0f N. America
http://joanne21921.tripod.com/speeches/
I was sitting at home alone the other day when my telephone rang, and some sort of automated voice-activated survey was asking residents of Cecil County whether they believed abortion should be legal in this country. Despite pressing the #9 button, as instructed for pro-choice, the robotic voice thanked me for being pro-life.
So, I am writing this letter, publicly stating, for the record, not only do I believe abortion should always be legal in the United States, but actually encouraged, as a great way to reduce the surplus population.
Religious fanatics and right-wing lunatics are pushing these backward-thinking programs because of that maggot, Bush, and his fundamentalist Jesus freaks. Can we allow the Christians, who have a worse reputation for bigotry than the Nazis, to dictate morality in a free country?
There's more than just women's rights at stake here, and it's high time free thinkers tell these anti-abortion idiots, the lunatics from the religious right and Jesus -boy Bush, to stick it.
Jackson Grimes
Presidential Candidate
United Fascist Union
America Must Stop Illegal Immigration
The problem of illegal immigration to the United States is getting worse every year. More illegal aliens are making their way past our borders into our country than ever before, and they are succeeding at taking jobs away from American workers. This is particularly true in certain fields of work. For example, hotels and restaurants hire illegal aliens because they are willing to work cheaper than the Americans, thereby, cutting Americans out of jobs. Illegal aliens are slipshod and substandard workers. Much of their work is not up to American standards. Employers can get away with this because many of these illegals do not even speak English, and even if they did, they could not complain to the government because they are not supposed to be here in the first place, and doing this could get them sent back, or fined and/or imprisoned.
The United Fascist Union believes the law should be amended so that individuals or firms caught hiring illegal aliens will be severely punished by the government. They should not be entitled to Social Security, Welfare, Unemployment Medicare/Medicaid or in-state tuition at American colleges or universities. They should get no help whatsoever from the government, then when they are caught or apprehended, they should be sent back to their point of origin immediately by the U. S. Immigration and Naturalization Service.
Jackson Grimes, United Fascist Union, U. S. Presidential Candidate
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