If you're anything like me, you spend weeks every fall looking for the perfect Halloween costume for you pet.
And every year you're disappointed.
That's because there aren't enough sexy costumes for pets.
Women have it all. I thumbed through a pet costume catalog recently and didn't see a single sexy costume. Don't get me wrong - I have no interest in animals sexually and people that do are disgusting. But I support a pet's natural desire to attract a mate - especially by wearing a sexy costume!
I've already noted there aren't enough sexy costumes for men, but why shouldn't we have sexy costumes for pets, too? It's just unfair.
Ordinarily, I dress our cat, Bully, as a Ninja Kitty. But he's had it for years and clearly wants something else. Something sexy that shows his hindquarters for the lady kitties.
He needs a "Sexy Ninja Kitty" costume. When I brought Bully to the Fox Valley Kitty Klub Halloween Ball last weekend, he was clearly embarrassed by his unflattering costume. And many of the queen kitties didn't even give him a second look. It was so sad!
That's why I spent all day redesigning his costume. I had to sew a lot and cut a few extra holes - one to make sure his anus is adequately viewable when he lifts his tail and another to let his pheromones breath.
Now when he tries it on, he's a whole new kitty!
Happy Halloween kitty lovers!
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12 comments:
A pet cat? Costume design? Can your husband come out and blog, Ms. Miller?
He's busy communing with the dead.
i always knew you were a petophile, grant miller.
My pet is going as an elephant. He thought the long trunk would attract the bitches. We'll find out tonight at the neighborhood pet halloween party.
Maybe you can just cut down one of the sexy children's costumes that are out. I hear the Dora Does Denver outfit is pretty risque.
oh jeezus, Mr. Miller. You HAD to say kitty and anus in the same post, didn't you.
ish.
I predict a future search term for Grant Miller Media will be Pet Anus.
I worry about myself that I read your blog everyday. I mean seriously worried!
My pets are very sexy, thank you very much.
We dressed the Yorkie in a tiny French maid's outfit while we greeted people at the door.
One woman remarked that she was so cute "dressed as a little slave".
I don't know if this meant that she perceives maids to be indentured servants, or that she mistook the little bows on the back of the costume for some sort of doggy S & M corset outfit.
Come to think of it, I'm not sure which version is more disturbing.
Great, now my pet has to be skanky too?
One of my dogs dresses up as rug shitter every Halloween (and pretty much every other day of the year as well).
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