I don't think many people give much thought to where a few extra dollars go. If you've ever found a couple dollars in an old pair of slacks it may be a nice surprise but it's hardly enough to retire on.
But have you noticed how everything is slowly getting a little more expensive? Retailers don't want to startle customers by raising prices suddenly, so they do it slowly over several months or even a couple years.
I noticed recently that dancers charge more for lap dances than they did just a year ago. It used to be that a man could get a lap dance for $5. A dancer would give him a short dance, wave her behind and wait for the song to end.
Now you're lucky to get a beer for $5 much less a lap dance. I visited a strip club the other day and had to pay $20 for one lap dance. Maybe they still have $5 dances on Tuesday afternoons but I don't know.
I don't go to strip clubs often, but when I do I like to get a lap dance or two. No point in going if you're not going to get a lap dance.
My dancer said she was paying for school. I guess that's what they all say. I've known many educated women in my life, but none have ever said they paid for college by giving lap dances. I suppose I could ask, but I'm afraid that would get me into a lot of trouble here at CBS. They have enough trouble without me adding to it.
When politicians talk about inflation they never mention the rising cost of lap dances. Maybe they're too embarrassed or haven't noticed. Constituents never call their Congressman to complain about lap dances.
If you want a lap dance, make sure you bring more than $5. And don't think your dancers will have change. They don't even have pockets.
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8 comments:
Hi Andy. Boy I always love reading your entries when you infiltrate Grant Miller (not in that way!) I have an idea though. Maybe one day you could write something about lap dances? It's just a thought.
They might have change, but they don't keep it in their pockets.
Didja ever notice that stripper's pubic hair keeps getting more and more sparse, while my eyebrows just keep getting longer and longer?
I guess I never seriously thought about becoming a stripper, but if I had, the thought of guys like Andy Rooney getting to see me naked would have been reason enough not to do it.
Andy would pay 500 dollars to the first lap dancer who could get a wiggle out of that old, shriveled piece of flaccid flesh.
Pure genius.
Bravo! It's refreshing to hear Andy in another media outlet besides 60 Minutes. I rarely get the chance to watch that.
Man, what’s the future going to be like? $50 just to let your eyes meet?
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