7.15.2009

Jobs at Grant Miller Media.

Grant Miller Media is looking for bright, motivated and energetic people to join its corporate headquarters in St. Charles, Illinois.

As a member of the Grant Miller Media corporate team, you'll play a valuable role in our ongoing success while gaining important experience in a fast-paced, challenging field. If you're passionate about your corporate career join us in making Grant Miller Media the Internet's Number One source for Grant Miller-related information.

The following positions are available as of July 15, 2009:
  • Grave digger.
  • Biohazard removal.
  • Forced laborer.
  • Indentured servant.
  • Textile machinery operator.
  • Coal miner.
  • Print journalist.
  • Carnival attendant.
  • Poultry processing.
  • Nuclear decontamination.
  • Scientific guinea pig.
  • Cat husbandry.
  • Test subject.
  • Human zoo exhibit.
Grant Miller Media has grown to become one of the nation's leading Grant Miller-related information sources with more than 4,600 offices worldwide. Our annual retail sales of $13 billion rank Grant Miller Media in the top 25 of all U.S. Grant Miller-related information sources. We've been in business for more than 80 years, have a legendary distribution network, a strong financial record and a history of success. Grant Miller Media is an equal opportunity employer supporting diversity in the workplace. Except Mongolians.

11 comments:

SkylersDad said...

I am 1/10th Mongolian, but have over 25 years experience as a Carny. Will you still consider my resume?

catherinette said...

I thought there was an opening for a table dancer. No?

red said...

Oooh, oooh! Pick me!

Whiskeymarie said...

I was worried that I didn't qualify for any of these, but then I noticed "Poultry processor" and "cat husbandry". I like to think I am almost over-qualified in both fields.

Now, to whom shall I send my resume and urine sample?

Eric said...

Gosh, so my tetherball skills and nunchuck skills won't help, gosh.

Gwen said...

Tell me more about this human zoo exhibit . . . can I fling poo?

GETkristiLOVE said...

And if I'm not passionate about my career, does that make me a shoe-in?

Madam Z said...

I hate to disappoint you, but I'm pretty sure cats don't have husbands. One night stands is about as far as they go. As for Carnival attendant," the last time I attended a carnival, they didn't pay ME, I had to pay THEM! And I don't wear dentures yet,so I can't be an indentured servant. Being in a dark place with big, husky men sounds good though, so I'll try being a coal miner for a while.

WendyB said...

You can try to drag me back into print journalism but I might put up a fight.

Distributorcap said...

with 10% unemployment you might get flooded with resumes - do you need an HR person to weed through them

katrocket said...

I want Timmy's old job!