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- An infinite number of monkeys randomly typing at an infinite number of typewriters could eventually reproduce the complete works of William Shakespeare. But a few monkeys would secretly think it was Christopher Marlowe, not Shakespeare.
- An infinite number of monkeys randomly typing at an infinite number of typewriters could eventually reproduce the complete works of William Shakespeare but they wouldn't because monkeys do not plagiarize.
- Greek mathematician Pythagoras never saw a dime from the Pythagorean theorem. He also invented the Pythagorean chip clip.
- No two identical objects can occupy the same space at the same time because mathematicians are homophobes.
- Two objects dropped from the same height will always fall at the same rate. The only exception to this is David Caruso's career.
- There are never more than six degrees of separation between anyone on Earth except for Ernest P. Rosler, 38, of 1597 Sprindale Court, North Aurora, Illinois, because he's a total loser.
- An infinite number of monkeys typing at an infinite number of typewriters would be endlessly hilarious.
- A twin who rockets into space will return home to find he has aged less than his identical twin. He also will find $600 missing from his house.
- For all his accomplishments, Albert Einstein received a lifetime 10 percent off card from Einstein Bros. Bagels.
- Einstein stumbled upon his theory of relativity while deciphering the BCS system.
- Einstein continued to compose, conduct and perform even after becoming completely deaf after cutting off his ear.
- An infinite number of monkeys typing at an infinite number of typewriters would smell awful.
- Isaac Newton coined the word "Whatevs."
- Julius Richard Petri invented the Petri dish. He also invented the Petri salad tongs.
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5 comments:
Grant Miller Media is not only entertaining, but informative as well.
Liar! No one has deciphered the BCS system. The minute you do, they change it.
•Einstein formulated his Theory of Relativity after years of grappling with the timeless question of the cosmos "Who's Your Daddy?”
•The hottest substance in the solar system is Venus. Fame however has not gone to her head and remains willing to dance Sunday shift at Club Bobby Trap just outside the Dallas/Fort Worth area.
•Possums spend about 80% of their lives sleeping. They spend the other 20% pretending to be asleep.
Brilliant as always!
[this comment NOT written by an infinite number of monkeys]
You kill me, Mr. Miller. KILL with your funny.
Monkeys do not plagiarize. HAAAAAAA. What the fuck goes on in your head, man? Seriously.
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