An Open Letter to the Driver of the Car in Front of Me.

Dear Driver of the Car in Front of Me,

The light is green.

Sincerely,

Grant Miller, Esq.

Am I Right Folks???

Oh brother. All this talk about healthcare reform is making me sick!!!

I mean, come on. You know with all the money we're gonna be spending, would it kill them to get some new magazines in my doctor's office? Am I right folks???

Hey - didja know those fat cats in Congress gots the best medical and insurance coverage possible? Yeah, it's true. But hey - whaddya expect from a bunch of sickos???

You know those scientists found one of those mega-star explosions out in space the other day. They say it's the most distant object ever seen. I guess they've never seen my ex-wife!!! Yeah, she's proof there's no intelligent life in outer space!!!

What the hell is going on in West Virginia, folks??? Not a whole lot - I can tell you that from a hundred miles away!!!!

So why don't people in West Virginia get any sleep? Hey, here's a thought, maybe you West Virginians should lay off the crystal meth for a bit!! Jeez, do I have to tell you everything?

But hey, if they really want to get some sleep they should listen to my ex-wife talk about her gout for 10 minutes!!! God, it'll put anybody to sleep!!!

I can't believe these guys in Florida! How about that guy that stole a ferret by shoving it in his pants?? Can you believe this? I mean, I've heard of having a lion in your pocket, but this is something else!!! I guess he was stealing the ferret to feed his snake!!!

I hear the cops wanna hire the ferret. I guess he really knows how to take a bite out of crime!!!

Jesus!!!

Stash Bednarik is an associate editor at Grant Miller Media and a lifelong nudist and resident of Whiting, Indiana. His column, "Am I Right, Folks???" appears on Fridays.

Mathematical and Scientific Factoids.

• An infinite number of monkeys randomly typing at an infinite number of typewriters could eventually reproduce the complete works of William Shakespeare. But a few monkeys would secretly think it was Christopher Marlowe, not Shakespeare.
• An infinite number of monkeys randomly typing at an infinite number of typewriters could eventually reproduce the complete works of William Shakespeare but they wouldn't because monkeys do not plagiarize.
• Greek mathematician Pythagoras never saw a dime from the Pythagorean theorem. He also invented the Pythagorean chip clip.
• No two identical objects can occupy the same space at the same time because mathematicians are homophobes.
• Two objects dropped from the same height will always fall at the same rate. The only exception to this is David Caruso's career.
• There are never more than six degrees of separation between anyone on Earth except for Ernest P. Rosler, 38, of 1597 Sprindale Court, North Aurora, Illinois, because he's a total loser.
• An infinite number of monkeys typing at an infinite number of typewriters would be endlessly hilarious.
• A twin who rockets into space will return home to find he has aged less than his identical twin. He also will find $600 missing from his house.
• For all his accomplishments, Albert Einstein received a lifetime 10 percent off card from Einstein Bros. Bagels.
• Einstein stumbled upon his theory of relativity while deciphering the BCS system.
• Einstein continued to compose, conduct and perform even after becoming completely deaf after cutting off his ear.
• An infinite number of monkeys typing at an infinite number of typewriters would smell awful.
• Isaac Newton coined the word "Whatevs."
• Julius Richard Petri invented the Petri dish. He also invented the Petri salad tongs.

The Thinker.

"Fiddle Faddle or Bugles?"

Is Your House Haunted by a Perverted Ghost? Take The Grant Miller Media Quiz and Find Out!

Every year, millions of American homes are haunted by ghosts addicted to sex. Perhaps you've seen eery clues your house is haunted by a perverted ghost - risqué material on your computer or DVDs tucked away in a creepy attic or crawl space. If you suspect your house is haunted by a sex addict ghost or just want to learn more about these vile visitors, take this Grant Miller Media quiz now:

1. Have you ever found questionable sites on your computer's web history that definitely were not viewed by your spouse?

a. Yes.

b. No.

2. Have you ever discovered a stash of Asian erotica hidden in your basement work bench that could only possibly be accessed by ghosts?

a. Yes.

b. No.

3. Have you ever stumbled upon a collection of adult magazines in your spouse's sock drawer that were placed there by ghosts?

a. Yes.

b. No.

4. Does your spouse ever warn you to not look in an old shoe box under the bed because he fears it's filled with the spirit of an angry carnival worker seeking revenge?

a. Yes.

b. No.

5. Does your spouse ever appear surprised or alarmed when you come home unexpectedly as if he or she has just seen ghost?

a. Yes.

b. No.

6. Have you ever walked in on your husband to find him in your flimsiest lingerie and cuffed to the bed by a ghost that only he can see?

a. Yes.

b. No.

If you answered "Yes" to any of these questions, your house is haunted by a dirty ghost.

Proposed Mission Statements for Grant Miller Media.

Grant Miller Media board members and its shareholders have proposed a mission statement to clarify the company's purpose, values and goals. The following mission statements are currently under consideration:

1. "To help all people live healthy lives. Except child molesters."
2. "To use our pioneering spirit to deliver energy to the world. Except Mongolia."
3. "Reaching out to the world...to see if they could loan us like $600."
4. "To approach all projects with creativity and service our clients to the highest professional level...if you know what we mean!!!"
5. "To help clients achieve their most ambitious goals and strategic objectives or whatever."
6. "To deliver the highest levels of professionalism and experience...duh!!!"
7. "To connect with the world and its peoples. Especially its hot peoples."
8. "All the news, rumors, innuendos, unchecked facts, libelous accusations, plagiarized ideas and unattributed material fit to print."
9. "Kills bugs dead."
10. "Come to where the flavor is. Come to Grant Miller Media country."
11. "To exceed our clients' expectations in quality, delivery and cost through continuous improvement, the greedy little bastards."
12. "Karaté Chop!"
13. "Grant Miller Media - it's the right thing to do and the tasty way to do it."
14. "Don't be evil. Okay. Fine. Be evil."
15. "Just do it. Come on man, everybody's doing it. What's the matter? Don't you wanna be cool? You scared? You chicken? (Imitating a chicken's moves) Balk balk balk. Just do it."

Obama Declares H1N1 a "National Emergency."

President Obama declared the swine flu a national emergency on Saturday, giving the federal government greater leverage combating the virus. Here's a look at some of the new methods the government will use this flu season:

• Ceding power to a shadowy group of elite international bankers. This move allows the government to openly acknowledge what many have long suspected - that it is manipulated by the Freemasons, the United Nations, reptilian humanoids, FEMA, the World Bank, the Bilderberg Group, aliens, the International Monetary Fund, the Daughters of the American Revolution and the reanimated bodies of John F. Kennedy, Joseph Stalin, Elvis Presley and Ted Williams.
• Increased fluoride levels in municipal water supplies. Obama said on Saturday raising fluoride levels will give federal agents greater ease subduing rioting masses by causing widespread drug-induced psychosis or catatonia.
• Creation of a one-world international currency. This measure will allow corporations to buy and trade vaccines once the borders between the U.S., Mexico and Canada are dissolved.
• Limiting interstate traffic to tanks and other armored vehicles. Acting on behalf of the Illuminati, the Interstate Highway System was built in 1956 for this very purpose. Once cleared of commercial and public traffic, the highways will allow United Nations soldiers to march into American cities for the ensuing 100 year occupation and removal of precious natural resources. Highways also will act as runways for highly classified military jets whose very existence has long been denied.
• Mind control. Using technology brought to Earth by aliens held captive at Area 51, the Obama administration will convey information on mass vaccinations via computer chips implanted in the brains of every American at birth.

Discontinued Ikea Products.

• The ƒøük Swing.
• The ßøx of ßrokken Lümbër and Ødd ßølts.
• The Chæply Mådë Swëdish Çråp.
• The Jsët öƒ Jchåirs that Jstarts with J.
• The Bëd ƒråmë Yøü Wil Håtë Nëxt Yær.
• The Åmæricans Wil Büy Ænyting Dining Sëtt.
• The Åëïøü€.
• The Bæd Röm Sët Thät is Missing Twø Skrews.
• The Swëdës Wøüld Nëvërr Büy This.
• The Pårticlë Bøård Çhäir.

Afghans Ready to Return to Polls, Again.

Afghans are bracing for another election after President Hamid Karzai agreed to a run-off following widespread fraud and irregularities from the Aug. 20 first-round vote. Here's a look at the candidates on the upcoming ballot:

• Hamid Karzai.
• Abdullah Abdullah, former Afghan Foreign Minister.
• Ralph Nader, consumer rights advocate.
• Abdullah Abdullah, Jr., Abdullah Abdullah's son.
• Cruz Bustamante, former California Lt. Governor.
• Abdullah "Lil Gino" Abdullah, Abdullah Abdullah Jr.'s younger brother and Abdullah Abdullah's son.
• Arianna Huffington, blogger and syndicated columnist.
• Tim Abdullah, No relation to Abdullah Abdullah or Abdullah Abdullah Jr. or Abdullah "Lil Gino" Abdullah.
• Gary Coleman, beloved child star of "Diff'rent Strokes" fame.
• Paula Abdullah, former judge on Afghan television hit "That's a Load of Kabul!!!"
• Gallagher, beloved prop comic who promises to "smash the Taliban" if elected.
• Abdullah Abdullah Sr., Father of Abdullah Abdullah, grandfather of Abdullah Abdullah Jr. and Abdullah "Lil Gino" Abdullah. Not related to Tim Abdullah.
• John Edwards, disgraced former senator from North Carolina.

Hilary Swank's Swanky Swank.

Hollywood wags are a twitter over Hilary Swank's admission that she struts around the house nude, in full view of her boyfriend's 6-year-old son.

Typically, I'm opposed to such blatant displays of immodesty.

Growing up, my parents, much like Ms. Swank, went to great lengths to forget their clothes around the house. They'd let it all hang out like a pair of unkempt mountain goats while my sister and I averted our eyes in disgust.

Friends would knock at our door and my dad would answer, giving them an eyeful of bearskin and lamb meat. My parents simply didn't care who saw them, causing my sister and I untold pain - the kind that would make Sigmund Freud squirm in his seat.

Since becoming a parent, I've gone the opposite direction and made certain my kids are never subjected to similar torture.

Never - not once - have they seen me with even a button out of place. Every morning I jump out of bed wearing a three-piece suit and tophat, shielding their sensitive eyes from all things untoward. This teaches them the human body is a disgusting, immoral, obscene, dirty, filthy, satanic and furry machine whose sole purpose is reproduction of the species. And even that should be done with extreme shame and crippling guilt.

But in the case of Ms. Swank's swagger, I urge restraint. It's premature to judge her behavior when so many facts remain unclear.

For example, how nude does she get around the house? Does she get totally nude or only partially? Does she skip around the house in her boyfriend's oxford shirts barely covering her supple bottom? What does she look like naked? Are there any pictures or diagrams that would allow us to better understand how Ms. Swank's tall, slender and nude figure might impact the child's development?

Clearly, Ms. Swank needs an objective observer to view her daily routine of prancing about nude, partially nude or even a little bit nude. This trained observer could take notes, make sketches and report his findings to the media.

Although I am a very busy man, I'm willing to be that person. This issue is too important and someone needs to separate rumor from fact. These issues need to be addressed in extreme even graphic detail before anyone judges Ms. Swank's actions.

A Restaurant I Would Like to Open.

• Thank the Almighty Heavenly Father and Lord Creator, the Great Lord, the Good God Absolute Truth and Primordial Lord and Timeless One, the Great Creator and He who Created everything, the Giver of Life and the Spirit of Truth, the Wonderful Teacher and the Formless Exalted One, the Unfailingly Magnificent Kind and Righteous Ancient of Days, the Most High King of Kings, Lord of Lords, God of Gods, the Light and the Truth and the Most Gracious One, the Most Holy, Pure and Perfect One, Ever Forgiving and Ever Providing All Knowing Maker of Man, Hallowed be thy name it's Friday.

A Story of Inspiration.

Shortly after graduating college, my father took me aside to discuss my future. I'll never forget those inspirational words and I think of them often. I hope they provide you with the same sense of hope and courage:

"Grant, I'm so very proud of you on this day, the day of your graduation from college. We all are very proud. As you look toward the future, I ask on behalf of our family - both living and past - to never forget those who came before.

"You see, Grant, you come from a very long and proud line of insurance claim adjusters. I am an insurance claim adjuster, my father was an insurance claim adjuster, my father's father came to America almost a century ago from the old country. As his ship sailed past Lady Liberty, he looked into her eyes with the pride and hope of millions of immigrants, eager to bring his old world craft of adjusting insurance claims to America.

"I'll never forget the day - it was my sixth birthday - grand papa took me on his knee and speaking entirely in Russian said I, too, could one day be an insurance claim adjuster. 'You really mean it, grand papa,' I asked. He just laughed and promised one day to teach me his old country techniques that made Miller Insurance Claim Adjusters the most wholesome insurance claim adjusting company in greater Chicagoland.

For so many years, I've honed my craft responding to claimants, determining payouts and analyzing legal and medical documents. Our profession so often is glamorized in Hollywood or romanticized by artists, but it is a good and noble profession. It is a profession that has paved the way for your education.

"Ever since you were child, Grant, it has been my deepest hope that one day, you too will follow in the footsteps of grand papa and use your God-given artisanship to carry on our treasured family craft, adjusting claims for insurance companies. I have my faith and grand papa's invested in your future."

Text of Obama's Nobel Acceptance Speech.

In case you missed it, President Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize last week. Here is the text of his acceptance speech as obtained by Grant Miller Media:

"Good morning. I am both surprised and deeply humbled by the decision of the Nobel Committee. To be honest, I do not feel I deserve to be in the company of so many of the transformative figures who've been awarded this prize. People like the Dalai Lama, a spiritual leader widely revered by the people of his homeland. I'm not making that comparison, but some may. Is it a stretch to consider me a spiritual leader? Perhaps, that's not for me to decide. Obviously, the Nobel Committee took this into consideration.

"Should I be considered a saint like Mother Theresa? That is not for me to decide, but it should be noted that both her and I have won the Nobel Peace Prize, so we have that in common.

"Also, did you know Martin Luther King won the Nobel Peace Prize? He did, just like me. Except I was younger when I won it. Not that I'm drawing comparisons or saying my Nobel Prize is better. Just stating the facts as they may be. He has his own holiday. Perhaps one day, I too will have my own holiday (hint, hint, nudge, nudge).

"I accept this award as a call to action to strive for peace and confront the common challenges of the 21st Century in the same way Mohandas Gandhi or Albert Einstein did in years past. Of course, neither of them ever won the Nobel Peace Prize. But I did. So there.

"Let me be clear: I am the champion. I won. I won I won I won. Na na na boo boo.

"Thank you very much and God bless America."

Talking to Your Kids About Led Zeppelin's Breakup.

Every year, millions of families are affected by Led Zeppelin's 1980 breakup. Breakups hit children hardest and they often lack the words to express their emotions, fear and confusion. Here are some tips for discussing this difficult topic with kids:

• Remind them Jimmy Page and Robert Plant still love them: Make sure your kids understand that no matter what - Jimmy Page and Robert Plant will always love them. Just because the famed guitarist/occultist and flaxen-haired heartthrob are no longer together doesn't mean they don't care for and love your kids. Parents need to make extra time to let kids know this.
• Let kids know it's not their fault: Children often blame themselves for Led Zeppelin's breakup, but ignore the multiple problems the metal pioneers faced following the 1978 release of "In Through the Out Door." This is especially common with younger kids. Sit down and talk with your kids and emphasize it's not their fault. You can say something like: "Pagey, Robert Plant and John Paul Jones disagreed about several key issues following the alcohol-induced death of John Bonham. But they all agreed they still love you very much and none of this is your fault."
• Focus on change, not blame: Don't burden your kids with details about Jimmy Page's mediocre solo-career or Robert Plant's ill-advised, but critically acclaimed duets with Alison Krauss. Kids need the stable, loving environment that only Led Zeppelin can provide. But remind them change is inevitable. Let them know Zep's influence is still seen today with bands like the White Stripes, Jane's Addiction and the Beastie Boys. Remind them to be polite and give those bands a chance.
• Listen to "Physical Graffiti" with your children: Kids have many questions, feelings, assumptions and concerns about Led Zeppelin's breakup. Many parents find it difficult to to just sit quietly and listen to "Bron-Yr-Aur" with their kids. Children need to listen to "Physical Graffiti" with quiet patience and undivided attention.
• Let your kids know it's normal to want Led Zeppelin to get back together: Children often feel ashamed about this very common wish - to see Jimmy Page, Robert Plant, John Paul Jones and John Bonham together again. Younger children may even pretend they're at the 1973 Madison Square Garden concert depicted in "The Song Remains the Same." Explain to them once a band breaks up, they only reunite for money. In Zep's case this is especially difficult with Bonham's passing. Remind them that dreams of reconciliation are perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed of.

Levi Johnston Jokes.

• Levi Johnston, the guy who dated Sarah Palin's daughter, will pose for Playgirl in a few weeks. The Alaska native apparently wants to show off his North Pole.
• Levi Johnston, the guy who dated Sarah Palin's daughter, will pose for Playgirl in a few weeks to show off what he calls "The Alaskan Pipeline."
• Levi Johnston, the guy who dated Sarah Palin's daughter, will pose for Playgirl in a few weeks. Of course it's not the first time the Alaska native has ventured below the equator.
• Levi Johnston, the guy who dated Sarah Palin's daughter, will pose for Playgirl in a few weeks. The Alaska native apparently wants to show off his Iditarod.
• Levi Johnston, the guy who dated Sarah Palin's daughter, will pose for Playgirl in a few weeks. Apparently, there is nothing he won't do for a Klondike Bar.
• Levi Johnston, the guy who dated Sarah Palin's daughter, will pose for Playgirl in a few weeks. Apparently, his 15 inches of fame isn't over yet.

Practical Haikus

How to budget your money.

By Grant Miller, Poet.

Don't spend so much cash.

Reinvest dividends and

Buy stuff at Aldi.

Stuff You Should Put in a Safety Kit.

By Grant Miller, Poet.

Band-Aids, medicine

Rain gear - poncho, umbrella

And stuff like that, Cuz.

How to Get a Flu Shot.

By Grant Miller, Poet.

Flu shot or nose spray.

Needles kinda freak me out.

Nose spray seems okay.

How to Find Cat Urine with a UV Light.

By Grant Miller, Poet.

Your house smells like pee.

Do you have a UV light?

Awesome. Those are cool.

Congratulations Twins!

Congratulations to the Minnesota Twins for just barely sneaking into the playoffs with a respectable - but by no means extraordinary - 87-76 record just five games over the break even mark.

Way to kind of go, Twinkies!

Discontinued Tom's of Maine Products.

• Tom's of Maine Tasers.
• Tom's of Maine All Natural Grain Alcohol.
• Tom's of Maine Puppy Mills.
• Tom's of Maine Dog Fighting Videos.
• Tom's of Maine Organic Marital Aids.
• Tom's of Maine Gone Wild DVD.
• Tom's of Maine High Fructose Corn Syrup.
• Tom's of Maine Hemp-Fiber Nooses.
• Tom's of Maine Marginally Putrid Meat.
• Tom's of Maine Freshly Ground Pepper Spray

Who Gets the First Swine Flu Vaccines?

Here's a list from the Center for Disease Control that details the order in which H1N1 vaccines will be administered:

1. Pregnant women.
2. Healthcare workers.
3. George Clooney.
4. Children.
5. Adult babies.
6. Inner children.
7. Young Adults.
8. Parents of children or young adults.
9. Teachers and Childcare workers.
10. Adults with high-risk medical conditions.
11. Totally sexy babes.
12. Goths.
13. The owner of a 2004 Chevy Lumina with Arkansas plates "HDF 344."
14. The person sitting in seat F24 in Section 203.
15. The Menards Guy.
16. Chodes.
17. Those Mythbusters guys.
18. Owners of yellow hats.
19. Bros.
20. Hos.
21. The Old Lady from "Titanic."
22. Hewlett but not Packard.
23. Passengers sitting in first class.
24. Jamba Juice employees.
25. Everyone else.

Reader Mail.

Dear Grant Miller Media,

My mother met you once 18 years ago at a college party. She said you exchanged phone numbers and agreed to stay in touch, but you never called her.

She also said I have your eyes.

Sincerely,

Your Son

Dear Son,

I have no memory of this and believe you're mistaken. I wish you the best of luck in your pursuit.

Sincerely,

Grant Miller, Esq.

Dear Grant Miller Media,

You may not know me, but I knew your mom. I knew her very, very well. Wow, she was minx.

I stopped seeing her about 37 years ago - I don't want to get into the particulars. Let's just say there's a history on heavy drinking on your paternal side.

We have a lot to catch up on.

Sincerely,

Your biological dad

Dear Biological Dad,

Thanks for writing. Again, I believe this is a case of mistaken identity as my mom was hardly a minx.

Sincerely,

Grant Miller, Esq.

Dear Grant Miller Media,

How much money do Nobel Prize recipients get?

Sincerely,

A Concerned Swede

Dear Concerned Swede,

I'm not really sure. When I got the call from Stockholm this morning, I said "I don't need an award to know the hard work I put in at Grant Miller Media is making a difference. Why don't you give it to those American cancer researchers?" And that's how Elizabeth Blackburn, Carol Greider and Jack Szostak won the 2009 Nobel Prize for medicine.

Sincerely,

Grant Miller, Esq.

Dear Grant Miller Media,

Do you remember a girl named Muriel Francona? You two worked at the Thunder Bay summer stock production of "Our Town" back in 1988. She was from Toronto and you were from Elmhurst, Illinois. After the production ended, you promised her you would write but you never did.

She says I look like you.

Sincerely,

Your Daughter

Dear Daughter,

Thanks for writing, but I believe this is another case of mistaken identity. Certainly there are other Grant Millers from Elmhurst, Illinois.

Sincerely,

Grant Miller, Esq.

The Least Frightening Horror Films Ever.

• "Children of the Arugula."
• "Waiting for Godot II: The Vengeance."
• "Rosemary's Inner Child."
• "Anne Geddes' Baby."
• "Dawn of the Fed Chairman Bernanke."
• "Farmville Horror."
• "ePet Sematary."
• "Nightmare on Electric Avenue."
• "Salem's Got Back."
• "The Textorcist."
• "The Bel Air Witch Project."
• "Bram Stroker's Deviled Egg Recipes."

Random Songs on My iPod.

1. "Broken Bricks" by The White Stripes. Jack White is equal parts Led Zeppelin and punk rock without the overwhelming irony of Jon Spencer. Jack White rocks.
2. "Sabbath Bloody Sabbath" The Cardigans. I sometimes collect mildly obscure cover songs. This is one of them.
3. "Little Wing" by Jimi Hendrix. Why do so many bands, guitarists cover this song? It's arguably one of Hendrix's best, but that doesn't mean it should be covered. It's like if the Disciples said "Hey, I can walk water!"
4. "Train in Vain" by The Clash. Best love song ever? Possibly.
5. "Foxy Lady" by Jimi Hendrix. Not one of his best. Why doesn't Sting butcher this song? Why must he butcher "Little Wing?"
6. "Polly" by The Kinks. I've been on a considerable Kinks kick since June.
7. "Bring the Noise" by Public Enemy. I used to listen to rap with some frequency. I don't so much anymore. But Public Enemy is the one exception.
8. "Life Guard Sleeping, Girl Drowing" by Morrissey. This song is three minutes long. It feels like 30. Not one of his best.
9. "I've Been Tired" by The Pixies. I used to love the Pixies. I still like them, but they've lost some luster since the big reunion tour. I'm seeing them again in November and, honestly, not really looking forward to it. It will pale to their shows I saw back in the olden days.
10. "Walk In" by Boss Hog. Nothing great, but fun stuff.
11. "Gigantic" by The Pixies. Their best song. By a mile.
12. "Sappy" by Nirvana. Their best song, possibly.
13. "Freedom" by Jimi Hendrix. What's up with my iPod? Three Hendrix songs already?
14. "The Lullabye" by Esthero. A mellow song. Not my proudest moment.
15. "Blues from Beyond the Grave" by Thurston Moore. I really wish I was as cool as Thurston Moore. Sadly, I'm not even as cool as Mandy Moore.

An Admission.

Dear Readers,

I feel dirty when smelling the end of a cantaloupe in public.

Sincerely,

Grant Miller, Esq.

Art Class.

I come from a highly artistic family - my grandfather was an accomplished amateur photographer and owned a successful paint company. My grandmother had a sharp eye for beauty and owned a renowned fine arts store in the Chicago suburbs.

My mother was an art volunteer for years at a nearby elementary school and made a living appraising antiques and jewelery for snooty suburbanites. We'd spend weekends scouring Chicago's finest auction houses and North Shore estate sales looking for rare finds.

My sister spent her college career roaming the European countryside discovering nearly unknown masterpieces. Today, she teaches art history at a prominent East Coast university.

The art bug hit me, too. That's why I'd like to share one of my favorite paintings. It's a work by noted American painter Georgia O'Keefe titled "Grey Line with Black, Blue and Yellow."

As you can see, this is some sweet ass art.