Dear Mr. Scorsese,
Allow me to say what an honor it is to be writing you today. I'm a fan of your work and have seen many of your films over the years. But I must take issue with your newest movie, "Shutter Island."
I believe your film unfairly promotes a negative view of the work we do at Shutter Island Mental Health Center. In the 22 years I've worked here, the facility has undergone a transformation to bring our patients the care they need at a reasonable cost to the state.
Our facility routinely is awarded the highest ratings from U.S. News and World Report for our treatment of paranoid schizophrenia, sadistic personality disorders, demonic possession and the criminally insane. In 2004, Harvard University Medical School gave Shutter Island a perfect rating for its care of cannibalistic sociopaths.
Of course, Shutter Island is not perfect. As you know, the facility was once accused of performing sinister human experiments reminiscent of the worst acts carried out by the Nazis. But the responsible doctors were reprimanded and placed on unpaid leave for several days and the electro-shock therapy suite is now under tighter supervision during business hours.
You may also remember the facility was the focus of an intense manhunt after several deranged sociopaths briefly escaped our care. To our knowledge, each of the deeply disturbed individuals was apprehended.
We've moved on from these minor incidents in our history and hope you will, too.
Your film and others like it unfairly malign not just Shutter Island but all creepy mental institutions. I encourage you to visit Shutter Island Mental Health Center to learn more about what makes it the best little remote island asylum for the criminally insane anywhere.
Sincerely,
Philip Lundeen
Communications Director
Shutter Island Mental Health Center
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7 comments:
Plus I hear they've adopted a Casual Fridays policy, so that's nice.
Oooooh, that sounds like exactly the facility I'd like to spend the rest of my days in when they finally catch me.
I'm confused, first there was 'The Island' now there's 'Shutter Island', both with DiCaprio? Is it a sequel? Will it be better than the first, as was the case with 'Speed 2'?
Dear Mr. Lundeen:
The harsh characteration of Sutter Island was the experimental result of my neglect to take daily dose of mood-stabilizing medication during filming, which in the past has proven 9 times of 10 to produce cimematic masterpieces AND internationally recognized Mental Health Centers.
Sincerely,
Marty
I have no smart ass comment. I saw the movie on opening night and liked it...even though it was a little confusing.
I agree with Mr. Lundeen, this was below your standards, Mr. Scorsese.
Sincerely,
Michael Myers
Did he enclose a brochure?
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