According to a new poll from the Pew Research Center, 80 percent of Americans distrust the federal government. Here are some of the reasons why Americans no longer trust government.
- Government told Americans it would be at the Cineplex for the 9:20 p.m. showing of "Clash of the Titans" and then totally flaked. Didn't call. No text. Nothing.
- Americans loaned Government $75 for rent last month and then like the very next night, Americans saw Government out at McCabe's totally ordering drinks for everybody.
- Government never does the dishes and whenever you call Government on it Government's all like "Those aren't mine."
- After Americans broke up with Linda, Government calls and asks if it's "cool" if he sees her next weekend. And Americans were just like "Do you really want to be that guy, Government? Seriously."
- Last weekend, Government came over to chill and play cards and then spent the night puking in the bathroom. Real classy, Government. Real classy.
- Not once has Government offered to pay for gas - not once.
- Americans told Government a hilarious joke and then Government goes around and says the exact same joke - verbatim - to this waitress like he friggin' came up with the joke himself. Pfft. As if...
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3 comments:
Government showed up at my last party with Bud Light, then started drinking my Guinness!
No trading up Government, drink the swill you brought.
Handing out cheese at lunch is totally not the same as going chop-chop on the check.
I lost confidence after being left off the judges panel for the White House Jägermeister Bikini Team.
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