- "Mommie Dearest."
- "Presidentin' for Dummies."
- "1,001 Delicious and Delectable Deviled Egg Ideas."
- "Dreams For My Father II: The Vengeance."
- "My Struggle."
- "BUSH'D!!!!! A Celebration of President Bush's Wackiest Gags!"
- "1982: My Year on the Road Following Ronnie Milsap."
- "Presidentin' - Texas Style!!!"
- "DISCOVERY: A detailed account of how I finally found Waldo."
- "Me Talk Pretty One Day."
4.29.2010
Rejected Titles for President George W. Bush's Memoirs.
Posted by
Grant Miller
at
2:00 PM
8
comments
Links to this post
Labels: Books, President Bush
4.28.2010
4.27.2010
Arizona Approves Tougher Immigration Laws.
A new Arizona law makes it illegal to reside, work, visit, think about, imagine, remember, look at or come within 500 feet of America and allows state and local police to arrest anyone they see - including other officers - within American borders. The law - which takes effect in July - is considered the strictest anti-immigration measure in recent history. The following people or groups are advised to report immediately to their ancestral countries of origin before the final process begins:
- Abkhazian-Americans.
- Afghan-Americans.
- Akrotiri or Dhekelia-Americans.
- Åland Islander-Americans.
- Albanian-Americans.
- Algerian-Americans.
- American Samoans.
- Andorra, Anguilla, Antigua and Barbudan-Americans.
- Argentinean-Americans.
- Armenian-Americans.
- Aruban-Americans.
- Ascension Islander-Americans
- Australian-Americans.
- Austrian-Americans
- Azerbaijani-Americans.
- Bahamian-Americans.
- Bahraini-Americans.
- Bangladeshi-Americans.
- Barbadian-Americans.
- Belarusian-Americans.
- Belgian-Americans.
- Belizean-Americans.
- Beninese-Americans.
- Bermudan-Americans.
- Bhutanese-Americans.
- Bolivian-Americans.
- Bosnian and Herzegovinian-Americans.
- Botswana-Americans.
- Brazilian-Americans.
- Bruneian-Americans.
- Bulgarian-Americans.
- Burkina Fasoian-Americans.
- Burundian-Americans.
- Cambodian-Americans.
- Cameroonian-Americans.
- Canadian-Americans.
- Cape Verdean-Americans.
- Cayman-Americans.
- Central African Republican-Americans.
- Chadian-Americans.
- Chilean-Americans.
- Chinese and Taiwanese-Americans.
- Christmas Islander-Americans.
- Cocos or Keeling Islander-Americans.
- Colombian-Americans.
- Comorian-Americans.
- Democratic Republic of the Congolese-Americans.
- Republic of the Congolese-Americans.
- Cook Islander-Americans.
- Costa Rican-Americans.
- Côte d'Ivoirian-Americans.
- Croatian-Americans.
- Cuban-Americans.
- Cypriot-Americans.
- Czech-Americans.
- Danish-Americans.
- Djiboutian-Americans.
- Dominican-Americans.
- East Timorese-Americans.
- Ecuadorian-Americans.
- Egyptian-Americans.
- Salvadorian-Americans.
- Republic of Equatorial Guinean-Americans.
- Eritrean-Americans.
- Estonian-Americans.
- Ethiopian-Americans.
- Falklander-Americans.
- Faroe Islander-Americans.
- Fijian-Americans.
- Finnish-Americans.
- French-Americans.
- French Polynesian-Americans.
- Gabonese-Americans.
- Gambian-Americans.
- Georgian-Americans.
- German-Americans.
- Ghanian-Americans.
- Gibraltarian-Americans.
- Greek-Americans.
- Greenlander-Americans.
- Grenadian-Americans.
- Guamanian-Americans.
- Guatemalan-Americans.
- Guernésiais-Americans.
- Guinean-Americans.
- Guinea-Bissauan-Americans.
- Guyanese-Americans.
- Haitian-Americans.
- Honduran-Americans,
- Hongkonger-Americans.
- Hungarian-Americans.
- Icelandic-Americans.
- Indian-Americans.
- Indonesian-Americans.
- Iranian-Americans.
- Iraqi-Americans.
- Irish-Americans.
- Manx-Americans.
- Israeli-Americans.
- Italian-Americans.
- Jamaican-Americans.
- Japanese-Americans.
- Jérrais-Americans.
- Jordanian-Americans.
- Kazakhstani-Americans.
- Kenyan-Americans.
- Kiribati-Americans.
- North Korean-Americans.
- South Korean-Americans.
- The Demilitarized Zone-Americans.
- Kuwaiti-Americans.
- Kyrgyzstani-Americans.
- Laotian-Americans.
- Latvian-Americans.
- Lebanese-Americans.
- Basotho-Americans.
- Liberian-Americans.
- Librarians.
- Libyan-Americans.
- Liechtensteiner-Americans.
- Lithuanian-Americans.
- Luxembourger-Americans.
- Macanese-Americans.
- Macedonian-Americans.
- Malagasy-Americans.
- Malawian-Americans.
- Malaysian-Americans.
- Maldivian-Americans.
- Malian-Americans.
- Maltese-Americans.
- Marshall Islander-Americans.
- Mauritanian-Americans.
- Mauritian-Americans.
- Mahoran-Americans.
- Mexican-Americans.
- Micronesian-Americans.
- Moldovan-Americans.
- Monacan-Americans.
- Mongolian-Americans.
- Montenegrin-Americans.
- Montserrat-Americans.
- Moroccan-Americans.
- Mozambican-Americans.
- Burmese-Americans.
- Nagorno-Karabakh Republican-Americans.
- Namibian-Americans.
- Nauruan-Americans.
- Nepali-Americans.
- Dutch-Americans.
- Dutch-Antilles-Americans.
- New Caledonia and its dependencies-Americans.
- New Zealander-Americans.
- Nicaraguan-Americans.
- Nigerien-Americans.
- Niuean-Americans.
- Norfolk Islander-Americans.
- Northern Cyprus-Americans.
- Northern Mariana Islander-Americans.
- Norwegian-Americans.
- Omani-Americans.
- Pakistani-Americans.
- Palauan-Americans.
- Palestinian-Americans.
- Panamanian-Americans.
- Papua New Guinean-Americans.
- Paraguayan-Americans.
- Peruvian-Americans.
- Filipino-Americans.
- Pitcairn Islander-Americans.
- Polish-Americans.
- Portuguese-Americans.
- Puerto Rican-Americans.
- Qatari-Americans.
- Romanian-Americans.
- Russian-Americans.
- Rwandan-Americans.
- Sahrawi Arab Democratic Republican-Americans.
- Saint Barthélemy-Americans.
- Saint Helenan-Americans.
- Saint Kitts and Nevis Islander-Americans.
- Saint Lucian-Americans.
- Saint Martiner-Americans.
- Saint Pierre and Miquelon Islander-Americans.
- Saint Vincent and the Grenadines Islander-Americans.
- Samoan-Americans.
- Sammarinese-Americans.
- São Tomé and Príncipe-Americans.
- Saudi Arabian-Americans.
- Senegalese-Americans.
- Serbian-Americans.
- Seychellean-Americans.
- Sierra Leonese-Americans.
- Singaporan-Americans.
- Slovakian-Americans.
- Slovenian-Americans.
- Solomon Islander-Americans.
- Somalian-Americans.
- Somalilander-Americans.
- South African-Americans.
- South Ossetian-Americans.
- Spainish-Americans.
- Sri Lankan-Americans.
- Sudanese-Americans.
- Surinamese-Americans.
- Svalbardian-Americans.
- Swazilander-Americans.
- Swedish-Americans.
- Swiss-Americans.
- Syrian-Americans.
- Tajikistani-Americans.
- Tanzanian-Americans.
- Thai-Americans.
- Togolese-Americans.
- Tokelauan-Americans.
- Tongan-Americans.
- Transnistrian Moldovan Republican-Americans.
- Trinidad and Tobagoan-Americans.
- Tristan da Cunhan-Americans.
- Tunisian-Americans.
- Turkish-Americans.
- Turkmenistani-Americans.
- Turks and Caicos Islander-Americans.
- Tuvaluan-Americans.
- Ugandan-Americans.
- Ukrainian-Americans.
- Emirati Arabian-Americans.
- British-Americans.
- American-Americans.
- Uruguayan-Americans.
- Uzbekistani-Americans.
- Vanuatuan-Americans.
- Vatican City-Americans.
- Venezuelan-Americans.
- Vietnamese-Americans.
- British Virgin Islander-Americans.
- United States Virgin Islander-Americans.
- Wallis and Futuna Islander-Americans.
- Yemeni-Americans.
- Zambian-Americans.
- Zimbabwean-Americans.
- Disputed zone-Americans.
- Inaccessible region-Americans.
- Unrecognized nation-Americans.
- Secessionist movement-Americans.
- Freedonian-Americans.
- Lower Slobovian-Americans.
- Eurasian-Americans.
- Gnubian-Americans.
- Ishtari-Americans.
- Kabulstani-Americans.
- Kreplakistani-Americans.
- Myposean-Americans.
- Nambutu-Americans.
- Oceania-Americans.
- Ozian-Americans.
- Pathos-Americans.
- Symbionese-Americans.
- Arctic-Americans.
- Antarctic-Americans.
- Aquatic-Americans.
- Merman-Americans.
- Amphibian-Americans
- International Space Station-Americans.
Posted by
Grant Miller
at
10:45 AM
5
comments
Links to this post
Labels: Arizona, Illegal Immigrants, Immigration
4.26.2010
Most Americans Don't Trust Government.
According to a new poll from the Pew Research Center, 80 percent of Americans distrust the federal government. Here are some of the reasons why Americans no longer trust government.
- Government told Americans it would be at the Cineplex for the 9:20 p.m. showing of "Clash of the Titans" and then totally flaked. Didn't call. No text. Nothing.
- Americans loaned Government $75 for rent last month and then like the very next night, Americans saw Government out at McCabe's totally ordering drinks for everybody.
- Government never does the dishes and whenever you call Government on it Government's all like "Those aren't mine."
- After Americans broke up with Linda, Government calls and asks if it's "cool" if he sees her next weekend. And Americans were just like "Do you really want to be that guy, Government? Seriously."
- Last weekend, Government came over to chill and play cards and then spent the night puking in the bathroom. Real classy, Government. Real classy.
- Not once has Government offered to pay for gas - not once.
- Americans told Government a hilarious joke and then Government goes around and says the exact same joke - verbatim - to this waitress like he friggin' came up with the joke himself. Pfft. As if...
Posted by
Grant Miller
at
1:00 PM
3
comments
Links to this post
Labels: Americans, Government, Pew Research Center, Polls
4.23.2010
Titles of Adult Videos Accessed By SEC Regulators.
- "Liquid Assets."
- "A Very, Very Strong Hold."
- "Fishnet Income."
- "Trading - After Hours!"
- "Irrational Exuberance Vol. 27."
- "Debbie Does Berkshire Hathaway."
- "IPO: Initial Pubic Offering."
- "The Foxy Proxy."
- "The ATM Machine."
- "Standard Deviations."
- "The 10 Bagger."
- "Topping Out."
- "The Big SEC Probe."
- "The AMEXXX."
- "Asset Play Vol. 32"
- "Bears and Bulls."
- "Infidelity Investments."
- "NASDAQed All Night Long."
- "Sloppy Secondary Markets."
- "Milton's Friedman"
- "The Stimulus Package."
Posted by
Grant Miller
at
11:00 AM
5
comments
Links to this post
Labels: Economics, Porn, SEC, Securities and Exchange Commission, Stocks, Wall Street
4.20.2010
Rejected "Handy Manny" Titles.
- "Stop Snitchin'."
- "Happy Hour."
- "¡Inmigración! Inmigración! ¡Andale! ¡Andale!"
- "Birthday Sex."
- "Handy Manny Gets a Little Too Handy."
- "I'll Give You My Gun When You Take it From My Cold, Dead Hands."
- "Handy Manny Loses a Thumb."
- "Grab Ass."
- "Handy Manny Scans the Internet for Pictures of Dora The Explorer."
- "Handy Manny Can't Fix a Broken Heart."
- "One Guy, One Cup."
- "The Boy Who Sniffed Carpenter's Glue."
- "Handy Manscaping."
- "Handy Manny Finally Wipes That Grin Off Caillou's Fat, Little Face."
Posted by
Grant Miller
at
11:00 AM
6
comments
Links to this post
Labels: Disney Channel, Dora the Explorer", Handy Manny, Television
4.19.2010
Volcanic Ash Spreads Across Europe
Clouds of volcanic ash spread across much of Europe over the weekend stranding travelers and bringing the continent to a standstill. Here's a look at where the volcanic ash has traveled and damage left in its wake:
- Italy: Had its picture taken holding up the leaning tower of Pisa. Posted the pictures on Facebook. Was later seen in Venice totally eyeing some of those fine Italian donnas.
- Spain: Hooked up with a Canadian college student in Madrid. Promised to text her when he got to Switzerland but never did.
- Germany: Got wasted in Munich and started yodeling with some guys in lederhosen - was HIGHLARIOUS!!!!!
- Holland: Spent a day just hanging out in Amsterdam "coffee shops." Got totally blazed!!!!
- France: Couldn't get close to the Mona Lisa because of the crowd, but got some pictures in the Louvre. Then went and saw where they filmed that one scene from "The Bourne Ultimatum."
- London: Complained English beer is warm. Did that pose from "Abbey Road" where the Beatles are walking across the street. Got totally delayed at Heathrow. Sucks, man.
Posted by
Grant Miller
at
10:00 AM
5
comments
Links to this post
Next Week in Grant Miller Media
Here are the stories we're already planning for next week at Grant Miller Media:
- The 10 Hottest Summer Fashions!
- Look What Lady Gaga's Done Now!!!!
- 5 Tips to Look Younger NOW!
- 17 Bad Skin Habits to Break Before Summer!
- What Does He Tell His Friends That He Isn't Telling You?
- Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow: A Step by Step Guide to Taming the Frizzies!
- One Woman's Incredible Journey to Bring Glamour to Darfur.
- His Secret Sex Language: What He Says...And What He Really Means!
- OMG! Justin! Justin! Justin! (You'll just have to read it to find out!!!)
Posted by
Grant Miller
at
8:45 AM
5
comments
Links to this post
Labels: Fashio, Grant Miller Media
4.15.2010
Poll Finds Tea Party Backers Wealthier, More Educated.
A recent New York Times Poll shows supporters of the conservative Tea Party movement are wealthier and better educated than the general public. Here's a look at other numbers found in the poll:
- A majority (94 percent) are whiter than the general public. Of those, more than half consider themselves "really white" or "extremely white."
- They are more likely to suffer from a medical condition called "itchy trigger finger" syndrome.
- Americans who identify themselves as Tea Party supporters are three times more inclined to yell when speaking.
- They are also eight times more likely to keep their caps lock button on at all times.
- A majority (87 percent) believe you are wrong!
- A stunning 100 percent of Tea Party supporters know what's best for the country they love.
Posted by
Grant Miller
at
11:45 AM
7
comments
Links to this post
Labels: New York Times, Political Curios, Politics, Tea Party Movement
Legally Accepted Reasons to Request a Tax Extension.
The following is a list of legally accepted reasons to request a tax extension from the IRS:
- Just "plumb forgot."
- A doctor's note excusing you from any strenuous filling out of forms.
- Couldn't use solar-powered calculator while living in cave.
- Asking nicely.
- Too busy filing out census.
- Just not feelin' it.
- You are Wesley Snipes.
- Lost your tax forms when you burnt down your house for insurance.
- You're not a "numbers" person.
- In the process of moving all of your taxable assets to offshore accounts.
Posted by
Grant Miller
at
11:00 AM
3
comments
Links to this post
4.14.2010
Suggested Titles for Movies if the Main Character is Named 'Tim.'
- "The Timpire Strikes Back."
- "The Last Timptation of Christ."
- "The Timinator."
- "Tim in Wonderland."
- "Tim-E."
- "Timdog Millionaire"
- "Tim Dog and Glory."
- "Tim's Island."
- "Timformers"
- "E.T. - The Extra Tim."
- "Tim!"
- "Brokeback Mountim."
- "The Royal Timenbaums."
- "Kill Tim: Vol 1."
- "Kill Tim: Vol. 2."
- "Tim Brockovich"
- "Tim X."
- "T*I*M"
- "Dirty Tim"
- "Timmy."
Posted by
Grant Miller
at
12:00 PM
6
comments
Links to this post
4.13.2010
Obama Calls for Tighter Controls on Nukes.
More than 40 world leaders are in Washington this week to discuss nuclear proliferation and security. Today, President Obama urged leaders to gain greater control of nuclear arsenals. In particular, the President said nuclear weapons must be kept out of the hands of the following:
- Terrorists.
- Mad scientists.
- Reclusive billionaires hell-bent on destruction.
- The re-animated corpses of Adolph Hitler, Joseph Stalin and Ted Williams.
- Inept but lovable bands of high school nerds.
- Hyperintelligent and emotionless computers.
- Jilted lovers.
- Remote island laboratories where scientists push evolutionary boundaries by genetically recreating a species of intelligent and blood-thirsty dinosaurs.
Posted by
Grant Miller
at
9:30 AM
4
comments
Links to this post
Labels: Nuclear Bombs, President Obama, The Apocalypse
4.09.2010
Fare Thee Well, Gentle Friend.
Grant Miller Media is sad to learn of the recent passing of that one guy from "Dynasty" who we just assumed died years ago anyway.
Posted by
Grant Miller
at
6:15 PM
8
comments
Links to this post
Labels: Death, Obituaries
4.07.2010
Scientists Discover Heavy New Element.

Posted by
Grant Miller
at
9:30 AM
3
comments
Links to this post
Labels: Black Sabbath, Graphics, Heaviness, Jacques Derrida, Sandra Bullock, Science, ZZ Top
4.05.2010
BREAKING NEWS: No Celebrities Injured in 7.2 Earthquake.
No Hollywood celebrities were injured when a 7.2 earthquake rocked portions of Southern California on Sunday afternoon.
Posted by
Grant Miller
at
2:15 PM
6
comments
Links to this post
Labels: "Twilight", Baja Earthquake, Beverly Hills, California, Celebrities, Earthquake, Hollywood, Johnny Depp, Robert Pattinson, Selma Hayek, Tommy Lee Jones






