11.08.2011

And Now, a Final Moment with Andy Rooney.

Former Grant Miller Media contributor Andy Rooney submitted this, his final post, just days before he passed away on Friday.


Have you ever noticed the more expensive coffee at the supermarket always comes in a bag? It used to be that all coffee came in a can. But somewhere along the line they began putting coffee in bags.

I would say about half of all coffee sold at the supermarket comes in a bag. The other half comes in a can and then there are those bulk containers for people who like to scoop their own coffee beans. You never see anyone scooping their coffee beans. I know I don't.

Coffee bags are nice. They're smaller than a can so they fit in your cupboard. But why is it the tape on the bag never sticks once you open it? No matter how hard you press it down it comes off.

Never have that problem with cans. Once you're done with a can you can use it for holding nails or coins. Here's an old Maxwell House can I use to hold pennies. It weighs a lot - there must be at least 600 pennies in there. Here's an old Folgers can. It's smaller. Keep my rubber bands in it.

So why is it that some coffee is ground and some is whole bean? Nobody wants the whole bean, a whole coffee bean won't help you wake up in the morning. So you have to grind it. So why don't they sell only ground coffee?

Have you ever seen someone using the coffee grinder at the supermarket? If you ask me, if you have to grind your own coffee at the store they should at least give you a dollar off.

They don't drink coffee in Europe. They drink tea.

Something tells me if the queen wanted her coffee ground, she wouldn't stand around in the supermarket doing it herself.

2 comments:

SkylersDad said...

(standing up on my chair holding up a lighter)

Flannery Alden said...

(slow clap)