Tips For Teaching a Child to Ride a Bike.

If you've ever taught a child to ride a bike, you know it can be a difficult but rewarding experience. But what are some of the best ways to get kids from training wheels to two-wheels? Here's a look at some sure-fire ways to get your child biking in no time:

• Encourage your child: No child wants training wheels forever - that's why it's important to remind them all they need is practice and patience. Let them know they're getting there and once they get the hang of it, reward them with something special. This is a milestone they'll never forget!
• Equip your child with the property safety gear: Buy a helmet and knee pads and help your child put them on. Kids will learn faster and be more enthusiastic to ride if they feel safe and a good helmet can protect them from serious injuries.
• Extract a pint of your child's blood and keep it on hand: Learning to ride a bike can be difficult and physically demanding. At some point your child may even want to quit. That's why it's important to keep a pint of his blood handy so you can quickly, easily and safely give him a blood transfusion to boost his red blood cells and give him the extra energy he needs to ride like a pro.
• Ask your child if she is comfortable and feeling safe: Reassure her she is doing well. Tell her she's almost got it and she'll be on her own soon.
• Make sure your child is physically capable before you start: Not all children can learn to ride a bike at the same time. Make sure your child is ready before you start; administer small doses of EPO to your child a few days before he begins learning to ride a bike. The glycoprotein hormone typically takes a couple days to circulate through the blood stream but its effects can last for several weeks. Do not discuss the dosage or process with your child in the event he is subpoenaed by classmates, other parents or school administrators.

Congratulations!

Grant Miller Media would like to congratulate that one governor for announcing this weekend that he's going to do that thing.

Congratulations!

Am I Right Folks???

Oh brother. Have you heard about these morans saying the end of the world is tomorrow? They been saying that kinda stuff for years and ain't nothing ever happened.

You know how I'll know it's the end of the world? When the Cubs when the World Series - that'll be the end of the world. I mean, seriously.

Am I right folks???

But hey - the end of the world won't be that bad - at least I won't have to eat my old lady's beef casserole anymore!!! One bite outta that and you'll be begging for the plague!!!

But seriously folks - what's with that Twitter? Twitter? I don't even know her!!!! Now is it Twitter? Twatter? What ever it is, it's get me twitted off!!!

That Charlie Sheen is on there all the time nowadays. Twitting this and Twatting that. What the Hell, Chuck - we liked ya more on your show - "Two and a Half Twits!!!!"

But boy, what a life that Charlie Sheen's got - drugs, broads, tiger blood. Sounds like me on the weekends!!!

Didja hear about these relaxation brownies they got in Massachusets? They're trying to have these brownies banned because some kids ate them and had to go to the hospital.

I don't know who the geniuses are here, but those kids didn't need to go to the hospital and I know this from personal experience. What they needed were some Zeppelin albums and a couple of bean burritos!!!! That'll cure of what ails 'em!!!!

You know maybe if my old lady, Alice, would make some of those brownies I could actually stomach her cooking. But as it is - that's a big, fat N.O. And I mean big and fat if you hear me loud and clear!!!!

Can you believe these college students in Germany??? A third of them consider sex work...And the other two thirds wish they could consider sex work!!!

But really, can you call sex work, work??? It's definitely not work for me - if you know what I mean!!!! How about this - I'll consider going to college when sex becomes work - that'll be the day!!!

Jeez Louise!!!

Stash Bednarik is an associate editor and Pulitzer Prize winning columnist at Grant Miller Media. He is a lifelong nudist and resident of Whiting, Indiana. His column, "Am I Right, Folks???"appears on Fridays.

Al Qaeda Reportedly Picks Interim Leader.

Egyptian militant Saif al-Adel was appointed interim leader of Al Qaeda it was reported Tuesday. It's believed al-Adel will hold the position until Ayman al-Zawahri is officially appointed to the leadership role once held by Osama Bin Laden.

Here are some perks al-Adel can expect with his promotion:

• One-time 15 percent pay raise and future annual raises between 4 and 10 percent.
• Full use of the Al Qaeda company sedan.
• Increased medical coverage and a lower deductible for al-Adel and his family.
• Corner office with private bathroom.
• A specially-fitted, ergonomic office chair.
• Full-time office assistant.
• Reimbursed cell phone bills.
• A parking spot near the office door.
• Three weeks vacation, five sick days and two floating personal days in addition to holidays off.
• Use of Al Qaeda's credit card for business lunches.
• Can work from home every other Friday.
• New business cards and stationary.
• Dallas Cowboys season tickets and use of Al Qaeda's luxury suite.
• Premium enrollment at any Bally Total Fitness.
• Priority Club membership at Holiday Inn Express locations worldwide.

Grant Miller Media Will Follow Developments in Jordan Very Closely.

As anyone who knows me will tell you, I'm student of Middle East history, culture and politics. My leisure time often is spent reading obscure texts on that region's rich and vibrant history and I'm known to speak at length on the philosophies of the Middle East's greatest thinkers.

That's why I've followed recent uprisings throughout the region very closely. I've studied how protests in one nation have sprung up almost overnight elsewhere - with millions clamoring for democracy and equality.

But the country I've followed most closely is Jordan. The kingdom has seen waves of protests as its economy flounders and food costs escalate. But most importantly, I've followed how this turmoil affects Jordan's Royal Family, particularly Queen Rania.

After conducting extensive research online, I'm happy to report that Queen Rania is fine

Some will question if Jordan's Royal Family is truly addressing the myriad of problems facing the kingdom. I don't know, but I am certain Queen Rania cannot and should not be blamed.

Perhaps she could do more. A valid argument can be made that Queen Rania should make more public appearances, particularly in places where she can be photographed. Perhaps she could visit the United States. I'm pretty sure Florida has a large Jordanian population, so maybe she should visit. And leave her husband or whatever in Jordan to maintain order. As someone very learned in Middle Eastern politics, it is my firm opinion that she should totally do that.

I will continue to follow the situation in Jordan closely, particularly how it relates to Queen Rania. That is my promise to readers.

With Bin Laden Gone, Who Will Lead Al Qaeda?

The death of Osama Bin Laden does not mean the end of Al Qaeda - the group reportedly is reviewing potential successors to Bin Laden's leadership. The possibilities include many of the world's most dangerous terrorists.

Here's a look at possible candidates to lead Al Qaeda:

Ayman al-Zawahiri

Anwar al-Awlaki

llyas Kashmiri

Lars Ulrich

Abu Yahya al-Libi

Saif al-Adel

Obama Will Not Allow Bin Laden's Corpse to Be Poked With a Stick.

WASHINGTON - President Barack Obama said he will not allow members of Congress, world leaders, curious bystanders and skeptics to poke Osama bin Laden's corpse with a stick after concluding such actions could incite violence against Americans.

The president's judgement came after a brief but intense debate in his war council about the pros and cons of allowing people to poke bin Laden's corpse with a stick. Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton and Defense Secretary Robert Gates warned allowing the morbidly curious to poke bin Laden's bloodied corpse with a stick would pose a national security risk. But Central Intelligence Agency director Leon Panetta said he believed everyone would eventually have a chance to poke the Al Qaeda leader's lifeless body with a stick.

White House Spokesman Jay Carney said the president expressed doubts early on about allowing citizens to poke bin Laden's corpse with a stick but consulted his senior advisers. All of them, Carney said, voiced concerns about the risks. Based on its monitoring of worldwide reaction to the announcement of bin Laden's death, Carney said the administration concluded most people viewed the reports of his death as credible and allowing everyone to poke the corpse with a stick would do little to sway those who believe it is a hoax.

Obama was direct in an interview with the CBS News program 60 Minutes, to be broadcast Sunday, according to a transcript released by the network.

"If we were to allow anyone with even the slightest interest to poke his corpse with a stick, it would only incite additional violence. It would be used as a propaganda tool. That's not who we are. You know, we don't let just anyone poke at his body for fun or curiosity," Obama said.

There were divided opinions on Capitol Hill about whether to allow people to poke bin Laden'sbody with a stick.

Some lawmakers said the United States needs to prove without a doubt that bin Laden is dead and advised letting people poke his corpse with a stick is the most efficient way to do that.

Others acknowledged they are curious and hope to poke bin Laden's corpse with a stick or at least play with his eyelids, but said letting anyone do so could generate blowback against U.S. troops.

"The whole purpose of sending our troops into the compound, rather than an aerial bombardment, was to obtain bin Laden's body so that we could poke it with a stick and determine whether he is dead," said Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-S.C. "The best way to protect and defend our interests overseas is to prove bin Laden is dead and the best way to do that is by poking his body with a stick."

Grant Miller Media Exclusive: Pictures Inside the Bin Laden Compound.

Grant Miller Media has obtained highly classified pictures from U.S. Navy Seals taken from Sunday's raid on Osama Bin Laden's Pakistani compound. These pictures provide an intimate look inside the lifestyle of the world's most evil terrorist:

It's believed Bin Laden obtained this collection on a jihadist Web site.

These are among the most delicate items seized at the compound.

It's believed Bin Laden sought to obtain more plates like these.

Al Qaeda operatives spent years collecting these items.

Bin Laden evidently used this DVD to inspire hatred toward America.

Although disorganized, this materiel appears intact and operational.

CIA experts believe al Qaeda was close to completing this collection.

Obituary: Osama Bin Laden.

Osama "Stretch" Bin Laden, 54, a long time Kabul resident, passed away on May, 2, 2011 at his home in Abbottabad. He was born March 10, 1957 in Riyadh the son of the late Ronald Bin Laden and Marie (nee Bailey) Bin Laden.

Mr. Bin Laden was the former general manager at the Kabul Albertsons and before that worked for 11 years at the GM Goodwrench in Badakshan. Mr. Bin Laden earned the nickname "Stretch" in the early 1970s while attending West Kabul Community High School. Prior to his graduation in 1975, Mr. Bin Laden lead the Fightin' Markhor Goats to a regional basketball title and made the dean's list every year.

Mr. Bin Laden was a member of the Abbottabad Rotary, a former member of the Kabul Shriners and a former president of the Badakshan Heights Business Park Association. He was known to mentor new employees and always organized the office NCAA pool. On weekends, Mr. Bin Laden enjoyed playing bass and singing harmony with his classic rock cover band, Osama Bin Laden and Young.

Friends described Mr. Bin Laden as a lifelong Dallas Cowboys fan, an avid reader and someone who could always be counted on to kill infidels.

In addition to his parents, Mr. Bin Laden is preceded in death by a brother Tim Bin Laden. He is survived by his wife of 24 years Elizabeth M. "Betty" (nee Reynolds) Bin Laden and his children, Nathaniel "Nate" Bin Laden, Noah Bin Laden and Nicholas "Nick" Bin Laden and his grandchildren, Dakota, Peter, Emily and Shannon.