Folded Magazine Said to Kill Mosquito No. 2.

A folded June 2010 National Geographic magazine operated by Grant Miller killed the second highest ranking mosquito in the carpeted living room region on Monday, it was reported, further damaging a pestilence network that appears significantly weakened since the death of Ochlerotatus Taeniorhynchus in May.

A spokesman for Grant Miller said the strike killed Aedes Vexans, a mosquito of European origin who in the last year had taken over as the mosquitoes top operational planner. Mr. Vexans was in frequent contact with Taeniorhynchus in the months before the mosquito leader was killed on May 8 by a Discover credit card advertisement, intelligence officials said.

Grant Miller officials described Mr. Vexans death as particularly significant as compared with other high ranking mosquito operatives who have been killed because he was one of a new generation of leaders that the pestilence network hoped would assume greater control after Taeniorhynchus' death.

In the months since Taeniorhynchus' death, Grant Miller has maintained a barrage of magazine and junk mail attacks in the carpeted region of the living room, straining his already turbulent relationship with the rest of his family who would like to calmly watch television.

Grant Miller almost never consults family officials in advance of a magazine or junk mail strike. Magazine strikes have been the Miller administration's preferred means of hunting mosquito operatives and other forms of pestilence. Over the past year, Grant Miller has expanded the magazine war to the kitchen and dinning room.

Tips for Keeping Your Booze Safe If Irene Knocks Out Your Power

By now, everyone on the East coast is tracking Hurricane Irene. Will she tack west or go east? Whatever path she takes, it seems certain many will get drenched and some may loose power, suffer flooding or worse. A power outage can affect the safety of your booze but there are things you can do now to prepare for that possibility.

The U.S. Department of Agriculture in accordance with Grant Miller Media recommends you keep ice on hand or know where to get it should you need it for a margarita during a power outage. If you don't have a generator, here is what you can do:

• Put an appliance thermometer in the refrigerator and freezer. That way you'll know if your martini glasses are adequately chilled if the power goes out.
• Make sure the freezer is set at 0 degrees F or lower for vodka and the refrigerator is at 40 degrees F or lower for tonic, sour mix, club soda and other mixers.
• Group food together in the refrigerator. For instance, keep marashino cherries, orange slices, lime slices and lemon twists together for fruity drinks and olives, celery and pickled onions for bloody marys. This will help the garnishes stay longer.
• Use any extra space in the refrigerator to chill Jello-shots.
• Freeze gel packs ahead of time for use if you fall over in a drunken stupor.
• Freeze refrigerator items like cigarettes - this helps them maintain their smooth, mild flavor longer.
• Don't leave your house without a cocktail umbrella.
• Plan to be without power for several days - you may have to manually mix cocktails in a shaker.
• Plan ahead and know where dry ice and strobe lights can be purchased in case you decide to host a dance party.
• Have coolers on hand to keep beer and wine cold if the power is out for more than four hours.
• Store bowls of nuts, small pretzels and Chex Mix out of reach of children.
• Don't forget your pets - dogs that drink beer are hilarious.
• Check your neighbors' houses to see if they left any cool stuff behind.

Tips for Going to a New School.

Going to a new school presents a lot of challenges and changes which sometimes leads to unnecessary anxiety. But going to a new school is a part of life everyone will experience at one time or another. Here are some useful tips to make the transition easier:

• Administer a massive beatdown on the first day in the yard. Students sometimes feel alone or scared when confronted with a new school. Inflicting some serious justice in the yard tells other students you are not to be messed with.
• Don't become a punk and don't associate with punks. While there are benefits to being friendly with punks, you don't want to get too involved. Doing so could lead you to be gambled or sold to other, stronger students.
• Don't discuss why you're in school. Everyone is in school for the same reason. Make things easier on yourself by keeping your head down and accepting responsibility for your actions. Time will pass faster if you focus on the task at hand.
• Exercise. Everyone is given time outside at some point during the day. Instead of standing around with friends, use this opportunity to bulk-up. Remove your shirt and get ripped to relieve stress and focus on your studies.
• Don't be indebted to anyone. When you first get to school, other students may offer assistance or provide guidance. But there's a catch - they'll want payback and more later. DON'T accept loans or gifts from anyone - don't take what you can't afford on your own.

Gaddafi Sons in Custody, Father At Large

Libyan rebel forces have detained four of Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi's sons as fighting intensified in Tripoli. The whereabouts of Gaddafi and other key regime leaders is unknown.

Gaddafi's sons were wanted on charges ranging from crimes against humanity to their roles in suppressing protests. Here's a look at the detained Gaddafi sons:

Saif al-Islam Gaddafi

Saadi Gaddafi

Nicholas Gaddafi

Mohammad Gaddafi

Grant Miller Media Exclusive: Video from Recent London Riots.

British Prime Minister David Cameron today called on media outlets to handover footage of recent London riots and civil unrest to the police.

The prime minister said broadcasters - including the BBC, Sky News and Grant Miller Media - have a responsibility to give unused footage of the riots to police to help bring those involved to justice.

Grant Miller Media has previously strongly resisted handing over footage, claiming that it would damage the broadcaster's editorial independence.

However, Grant Miller Media has decided to turned over the following video of recent London's riots:

National Weather Service Issues "Heat" Warning.

The National Weather Service issued a "Heat" warning for the entire nation through at least Sunday, urging filmgoers to avoid the 1995 action film starring Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino.

Movie lengths of 170 minutes are expected, meaning it will actually feel like it's between 200 and 220 minutes long.

The weather service warned the combination of Pacino's over-acting and tepid script can cause serious illness and even death.

"Seriously, you would think Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro in the same movie would be great, but you'd be wrong. Both are clearly phoning it in and Val Kilmer as a bad guy does not help matters," the weather service statement read. "Dude, the movie sucks."

The weather service urged residents to check on relatives and neighbors who may have the 1995 Michael Mann film in their Netflix queue. Most at risk are children and the elderly who might accidentally see the movie on TNT or Showtime while flipping channels.

In extreme cases, persons can suffer from "Heat" stroke, causing victims to quote lines from the movie and a sudden interest in Paciono's and DeNiro's lesser films like "Carlito's Way" and "Meet the Fockers."

In these cases, medical personal typically prescribe lengthy viewings of "Dog Day Afternoon."

In Light of Recent Economic Events Grant Miller Media Presents a Bunch of Graphs.

U.S. Real GDP Growth.

Baltic Sea Depths by Year.

Lines going down. Lines going up.

Sunspot cycles 1749 to 2003

Omaha City Library collection.

Top State destinations for overseas travelers in 2003.

The food pyramid.