Practical Haikus.

How to Clean a Touch Screen Smart Phone

By Grant Miller, Poet

A microfiber

cloth should do it but I just

use my shirt, you know?

How to chose the best security camera system.

By Grant Miller, Poet

You should use lasers

Or, like, buy some chako sticks.

That'd be so bad ass.

What's the best way to pack a toiletry kit quickly?

By Grant Miller, Poet.

Here's what I do, dude.

Cologne. Lots and lots of it.

Yeah, it's all you need.

How can I communicate with older adults?

By Grant Miller, Poet

First off, they smell weird.

Secondly, they won't know you.

So, let's skip this one.

Kid 'n Play's "Face the Nation" Released 20 Years Ago Today.

All this week, Grant Miller Media has examined the legacy and impact of Kid 'n Play's "Face the Nation" which was released 20 years ago this week. The album exploded the duo's glorious comedy hip-hop music and angular hair styles into the popular consciousness.

Much as Bob Dylan disavowed any label as voice of the 1960s generation, Play resisted claims to the epochal significance of his songs. Cultural expressions like Kid 'n Play's seminal "Rollin' with Kid 'n Play" contain discrete nuggets of truth about a particular moment rather than encompass the totality of experience for an entire age cohort.

Now, at the tell tale 20-year mark, it's more necessary than ever to pierce through the media-driven platitudes about Kid 'n Play emerging fully formed overnight to transform music and the angular hair style industry.

Prior to the "Face the Nation," Kid 'n Play honed their craft, playing gigs at dingy bars to disinterested audiences, opening for bigger acts and touring circuits throughout the nation.

Though "Gittin' Funky" compelled a wider audience, it did not immediately bestow the title of "voice of a generation" that has since been applied to Play. His discomfort with fame, outrageously baggy pants and angular hair were symptomatic of currents that ran deeper throughout the culture.

"We had no idea 'Face the Nation' would sell less than 200,000 albums. We never went out and said, 'Let's record an album that receives just two stars from All Music.com,'" Kid said recently.

To mark the occasion, Elektra Records has released a remastered box set of the album containing more than 80 unreleased tracks, a live DVD and liner notes written by Michael Azerrad. The Martin Scorsese documentary, "Kid n Play: Don't Look Wack," opens in select theaters on Friday.

Could a Second 'Contagion' Really Happen?

Whether you've seen the films, read the reviews or witnessed its living bacteria billboard, chances are you've taken a panic-stricken moment to wonder: Could a second "Contagion" really happen?

The answer, it turns out, may not be exactly what you want to hear.

CDC director Thomas Frieden advised "Contagion" producers on how to make the plot plausible and keep just enough of the key characters alive in the event a second "Contagion" is necessary. His answers were unnerving.

"It's possible for this film to spread very fast beyond the main cities like New York, Chicago and Los Angeles. If it spreads to smaller cities like Tampa, Portland or Omaha we may be well beyond 'The Help,'" Frieden said.

"We could see a phenomena where each person that experiences 'Contagion' tells 15 other people. Even one person can tell someone else about 'Contagion' from 100 feet away," Frieden said. "If that happens, if enough people see 'Contagion,' we need to prepare for a recurrence in the next 18 to 24 months."

Still, Frienden said we should not panic - yet.

"It's all possible, but what's important is we can do a lot to prevent a second 'Contagion' and reduce the impact of the current 'Contagion,'" Frieden said. "We need to remind people that Steve Soderbergh orchestrated 'Ocean's 11,' '12' and '13.' That this is his modus operandi - make a one good movie and then change a few things and remake it again and again only with lesser production values and weaker scripts."

So far, the Obama administration has not commented on the possibility of a second 'Contagion' hitting the U.S. However, the Department of Homeland Security is reportedly developing an emergency response in the event Gwyneth Paltrow shows signs of aging or weight gain in the near future.

New Tapes Reveal Candid Jacqueline Kennedy.

A recently released audio interview of former First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy gives new insight into the Kennedy White House and the Cuban missle crisis. The interview, recorded just months after her husband's assassination, had been sealed in the Kennedy Library until this week.

Here's a look at other revelations included in the tapes:

• Her favorite meal? Fried bologna sandwiches with marshmallow Fluff.
• President Kennedy routinely contemplated bombing Canada back to the Stone Age.
• Lyndon Johnson was into leather.
• In private, Mrs. Kennedy spoke with a thick, southern drawl.
• President Kennedy's Secret Service code name: "Ole Pork & Beans."
• Couldn't get enough of "The Benny Hill Show."
• She dreams in sepia tone.
• Once ate 50 hard-boiled eggs on a bet.

Never Forget.

The drummer from the Grateful Dead is 68 today.

50 Amazing Facts About Wolf Blitzer.

1. Wolf Blitzer grows 2.5 centimeters wider every year.

2. Oxygen, carbon, hydrogen and beard make up 90 percent of Wold Blitzer's body.

3. The Big Dipper is known as "The Wolf Blitzér" in France.

5. Wolf Blitzer can kill a leopard.

6. Wolf Blitzer moves away from Earth at a rate of 1.5 inches per year.

7. Wolf Blitzer can fall from a five-story building without injury.

8. Wolf Blitzer can eat 50 pounds of meat in one sitting.

9. Wolf Blitzer is the world's largest distributor of toys.

10. Wolf Blitzer is .02 degrees hotter during a full moon.

11. The names of Popeye's four cousins are Pipeye, Peepeye, Pupeye and Wolf Blitzer.

12. Karate originated in India but was developed further by Wolf Blitzer.

13. After eating, Wolf Blitzer regurgitates his food and then eats it again.

14. Eighty-five percent of all Valentine's Day cards are purchased by Wolf Blitzer.

15. Wolf Blitzer is the leading cause of poisoning in the home for children six and younger.

16. "Blitzer" is the only English word that ends in the letters "litzer."

17. If Wolf Blitzer stopped working, you'd die within 24 hours.

18. Wolf Blitzer uses the skulls of his enemies as drinking vessels.

19. Antarctica is the only land on Earth not owned by Wolf Blitzer.

20. Wolf Blitzer's original name was "Silky Slim."

21. Although Wolf Blitzer is not a wolf, English-speaking settlers called it Wolf Blitzer due to its similar appearance to wolves.

22. When someone looks at Wolf Blitzer, their neural circuits associated with social judgement are suppressed.

23. The curtains match the carpet.

24. Wolf Blitzer's beard is not white - it's transparent.

25. "Wolf Blitzer" is the only character to appear in every Shakespeare play.

26. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find Wolf Blitzer.

27. The sound you hear when placing a seashell next to your ear is not the ocean - it's the sound of Wolf Blitzer's breathing.

28. Halle Berry's stunt double in the "Cat Woman" movie was in fact Wolf Blitzer.

29. "Wolf Blitzer" is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

30. The first telephone book was one page long and contained only one name - Wolf Blitzer.

31. Only 55 percent of Americans know that Wolf Blitzer is a star.

32. The most dangerous job in the world is that of Wolf Blitzer.

33. Wolf Blitzer consumes $11 billion of pet food annually.

34. Wolf Blitzer was banned in Finland because he doesn't wear trousers.

35. Each year, 24,000 Americans are bitten by Wolf Blitzer.

36. Wolf Blizter produces more than 20 percent of the world's oxygen.

37. Wolf Blitzer can clean his ears with his 21-inch tongue.

38. Wolf Blitzer is not technically a wolf. It is a legume.

39. Wolf Blitzer does not have a blind spot.

40. Nearly 80 percent of all Americans will be the victim of Wolf Blitzer at some point in their lives.

41. Wolf Blitzer's voice can be heard from five miles away.

42. If you mouth the words "Wolf Blitzer" to someone, it looks like you are saying "I love you."

43. In just 10 minutes, Wolf Blitzer can release more energy than all of the world's nuclear weapons combined.

44. More than 80 percent of American children can identify Wolf Blitzer by their second birthday.

45. The United Nations estimates there will be two Wolf Blitzers in the world by the year 2020.

46. Wolf Blitzer once Wolf Blitzered for 72 hours straight in 2003.

47. Incas created pots in the shape of Wold Blitzer.

48. The only public Wolf Blitzer museum is located in St. Louis, Missouri.

49. Wolf Blitzer is silent and odorless and can kill a person in less than 15 minutes.

50. Wolf Blitzer's autobiography has been translated into more than 2,400 different languages, including Klingon, Aramaic and Manx.